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"This way Mr. President"
"I know the way, I was Vice-President for eight years you know."
"Yes, Sir, Sorry Sir"
"Why are all these ramps here?"
"Disability access ramps, Sir"
"I know what they are why are they here?"
"Your predecessor stated you may need them given your advancing years and so on."
Spoken louder "YOUR PREDECESSOR.."
"Why are you shouting?"
"You mean Trump."
"We're not allowed to say his name Sir, we had instructions from Vice President, I mean former Vice President Pence, to not allow his name to be mentioned."
"Why were you shouting?"
"We were told you may be hard of hearing due to your ...."
"I'm not hard of hearing and I'm not in a wheelchair"
"But you are older than..."
"Enough!" They enter the famous room. "At last the Oval office."
"We decorated as you wished Sir, the busts and pictures have been changed - caused quite some commotion with your prede.."
Scowl from new President
"... I mean President Trump as he had some other busts he wanted to keep."
"Best we don't go into that."
"No Sir, his letter is on the desk."
"The one with the postmark from Moscow."
"Yes Sir, special delivery."
The President sits behind the desk and surveys the Oval Office. He scans the room with a small smile of satisfaction on his face, before his vision alights on a board on one wall.
"For you Sir to help."
"Isn't that a picture of my wife?"
"Yes Sir, in case you forget."
How dare you! I know who my wife is"
"At the moment Sir, this is in case it gets worse."
"What gets worse?"
"Your dementia, Sir"
"Have you forgotten already?"
"I do not have Dementia!"
"Damn my predecessor!" Takes deep breath. "Who's the Black Lady in the photo's"
"Your VP Sir."
"I have a black female VP?"
"Yes Sir, don't you remember you were elected with her."
"The one on the capital steps?"
"Yes Sir at the inauguration."
"Didn't recognise her without her mask. Where is she?"
"Managing the Senate and drawing up your first executive orders. They should be here later this morning. She sent instructions to make sure you have your afternoon nap and I have to disconnect the hot line."
"The Moscow hot line?"
"No, Sir the Deliveroo and MacDonald fast order hotline. We missed it during your prede… Mr Trumps departure. It's that one next to the pictures of all your staff."
The President attempts to change the TV Channel"What's wrong with this TV I can't change the channel from Fox?"
"All the other channels were disabled Sir."
"And get rid of this" He pulls a book from a drawer
"What is it?"
"The Dummies Guide to Tweeting…."
@realDonaldTrump Goodreads full comments
@realDonaldTrump Goodreads full comments
"Welcome back Mr President."
"Good to be back, Air Force One's bed is too small."
"All my other beds and the hotels, even the UK Ambassador's residence was bigger."
"Do yo want me to get a bigger bed in Air Force One?"
"I've already told them to do it. The idiots claim they'll have to redesign the 747 or use that big Airbus thing they fly wings in"
"That would please the Europeans but haven't we imposed tariffs on them?"
"Yeah, still if they want me to have it they can pay for it like the wall."
"Sir, the Mexicans aren't paying for the wall. In fact no one is paying for the wall."
"We're getting if for free?"
"No Sir. We have claimed to have built the walls that were put up in 2006 and California has added a few miles to the fences they put up years ago..."
"Sir!" "Sorry I dozed off. Jet lag."
"Sir, what I wanted to ask is, what statement do you want me to put out about your meeting with Vlad."
"Did you check the thes, thees, tess, that dictionary thing?"
"The Thesaurus? Yes Sir.
"Sir, Would, Would Not, Could, Could not, Should and Should not all have different meanings."
"I have it here if you want to read it?"
"Not fake news?"
"What about wouldn't and would?"
"They are opposites Sir."
"Damn, what now?"
"You'll have to apologise Sir or say you made a mistake."
"Out of context?"
"It's recorded Sir."
"Damn.... Still I can re-tweet something else afterwards, get the press running around in circles again."
"Even Fox were concerned."
"Give them another interview like we did with that British paper, that went well."
"You mean directly contradict what you said on audio and video after the event."
"Just like with Vlad. Anything from him?"
"Only the note about the extra service in the Helsinki hotel."
"What extra services?"
"The same as the Moscow hotel, it's on your preference list for that chain. The Secret Service would not let them in."
"Who told them to do that. I needed some relaxation these summits are hard."
"Remember Sir it was not a summit just a meeting to improve relations."
"With whom Sir?"
"All my meetings were a success."
"NATO, the UK, Germany, the EU?"
"All went perfectly. They all agreed to do what I told them."
"I'm not sure they think that."
"They don't matter. I've won the war in Syria, kicked out those Irises..."
"ISIS, Sir, Irises are flowers."
"You sure? Anyway, wall is going up, got the tax cuts done my poll ratings are up..."
"Actually they are not up."
"...Economy is great I did it all."
"Of course you did Sir."
"Who says different?"
"No one would dare Sir."
"You been watching that fake news again."
"No Sir. I read the Intelligence service brief and the report from the Federal Reserve. Mr Mueller is still investigating."
"Fake News, Fake News, Fake News. Vlad and Xi are happy."
"Actually Xi is not happy about the new sanctions."
"Why not." "He wants a bigger cut. So does Kim."
"Nice fella', A bit short. No dice, it's my deal take it or leave it. I got NATO to increase spending by buying American weapons."
"I don't think they actually agreed to that."
"I did. I tweeted that so it must be true."
"Yes Sir. There's another problem with one of your former er... acquaintances."
"Karen McDougal, she was a Playboy Model."
"Sir? Cohen had a tape of you and he discussing a payment to her?"
"Yes Sir and the FBI have it now."
"Check that Thesaurus thing again on would and wouldn't."
"Yes Sir, anything else? I have to go and testify to the Grand Jury again."
"Yeah, more important things, can't Boeing build a bigger bed?" "Sir????"
Human beings seem to have a fascination with the strong man form of government. Sometimes this is masked by the appearance of democratic election but in most cases this gives way to pure dictatorship. We seem to be going through a period of such leaders now.
In the 1930s many of the great powers of the world had dictatorial leaders. In the intervening period the form of government has continued albeit the leaders have tended to be of smaller countries in terms of world power. That is not to underestimate the damage they have caused to their own countries and their neighbours. Although Putin appears below his leadership has changed a virtually collapsed Russia back into a global power
Now we appear to have entered an era of great dictators once more and a worrying trend in the behaviour of others. Turkish democracy on the surface appears robust with a near 90% turnout in the recent election. But the result of the election was to allow President Erdoğan to claim additional powers.
Combine this with further limitations on opposition leaders, the free press and total biased control of the state media and you have the trappings of a one party, one leader state. Throw in the hate for a minority group (the Kurds) that a German citizen in 1938 might recognise. Including direct military intervention across an international border.
At the start of WWII the dictators appeared to support each other Mussolini, Franco, Stalin and Hitler in Europe with Hirohito in Japan. The USA was isolationist and the Smoot-Hawley Act not only worsened and extended the Great Depression in the USA it also angered its nearest neighbours and allies. Another lesson from history seemingly ignored by the current US President. I am not claiming that the current 45th President of the United States of America is a fascist dictator he just seems to prefer their company and seems unconcerned with angering his allies.
There seems to be several common traits on the path to dictatorship.
- Limit and ridicule free press
- Ridicule then imprison opposition
- Appoint cronies to all independent roles
- Blame outsiders (Terrorists, immigrants, minorities, trade, stealing jobs)
- Take more powers centrally to help control the situation
- Appeal to lowest common denominator in electoral support
- Rig election
- Take more powers centrally
- Remove opposition and free press completely (Assassination, imprisonment)
- Use military force against outside opponents or threaten such
- Award oneself numerous medals and awards
"Vlad?" "Don! How are you? Sacked any more Directors yet?" "Give me time." "I've told you time is of the essence don't give them time to think, change continuously." "I know, I know... Is that why you sent me the guide?" "Yes I've updated from last year Kim Sung made some amendments." "I admire him for one so young." "He had good training, like Assad, you really should meet up." "I can't with Assad I just bombed his base." "I know still nothing damaged and you did warn us first so I could tell him." "Shhhh the FBI may be listening?" "So what you have dealt with them now." "No, not quite the temporary one is being nasty about me in congress implying I was wrong." "Then fire him too, or really terminate - its what the rest of us do." "That reminds me, on page two of the guide it says I should assassinate some journalists after I have removed the heads of police." "Yes you need to adapt for your own terminology but get rid of a few journo's and the rest come into line." "I noticed and Erdogan recommended the same." "He's following the same programme, we'll soon have it all sorted." "Shame about Marie." "Yes and after the Dutch fiasco." "The hack was too late." "I've had the head of the team shot for the timing." "If only I had your control." "Back to the FBI, send them in armed and have accidental shooting with terrorism connections always works. Schools, cinemas, underground stations, all works and adds up." "I know you are right. What's next on the agenda." "Germany." "Is she the short fat one?" "Yes, but don't worry about her we still have the Stasi files." "What did she do?" "Nothing you have to worry about Don. Not as bad as the hotel..." "You said you would not mention those again." "Ha Ha just winding you up old friend. Xi says Hi by the way." "I owe him a call need to coordinate message when Kim does his next test." "Will it fail?" "We have not agreed yet. Now South Korea is coming on line maybe we should postpone." "No don't do that we need to keep the tension up. I wish Kim had agreed to that limited strike idea." "He needs to learn from Assad too. Got to keep some world opinion on side." "You are too soft Don, I'll get Ivanka to give you a rub down." "Will she?" "Anything for you Don you know that but ease off on Twitter it makes you look silly." "OK Vlad and thanks for the guide."
"Morning Mr. President" "Morning Sean" "Here's the list Rex sent" "What list?" "The one you asked for with the countries you haven't insulted or accused yet." "But there's only one sheet of paper and there's only two countries listed that's if Burkina Faso is a country?" "I'm told it is Sir." "Who by?" "The State Department." "And you believed them, you sure their not making it up?" "I checked with Andrew Napolitano at Fox, he say's he's heard of it. South America he thinks." "We didn't campaign there." "No Mr. President, South America the continent not south of the USA even though it is, south of the USA I mean." "Are you trying to hoodwink me?" "No Sir, I do need to check because I thought it was in Africa." "You mean we don't know where the country is, what sort of state did Obama let this country get into. Find it out immediately we can't just lose the location of a country!" "I don't think it's moved at all." "Why not? It can move if I want it too. I'm President, Vlad moves bits of countries all the time." "He does not move them Sir he just annexes bits of territory. In Georgia and the Ukraine." "He can't have Georgia we have the Masters there." "The nation Sir not the US State." "There's a difference?" "Sir?" "Never mind, so what do we do with this Faso?" "We can accuse them of harbouring a GCHQ listening post that was used to bug Trump Tower, maybe expel some diplomats." "Sounds good, get to it." "I can't I mean we can't Sir." "Why not?" "We promised the Brits we would not mention GCHQ again or accuse them of spying on you, you told Theresa May you would not nor the NSA." "Remind me, is Theresa the one I met this week the short dumpy one who spoke a foreign language?" "No Sir, that was Angela Merkel the German Chancellor, she wanted to hold your hand like Theresa did." "But she was foreign and somehow she got in the country despite my Immigration order." "Germany is not on the order Sir." "But she is foreign?" "Most people are Sir." "Not Americans." "We best not get into that." "Now Sir I have your daily security briefing, do you want the one from the NSA or your usual one from Fox News." "Can't believe the NSA one its all fake news and tell them I'm upset by them failing to confirm Andrew's story." "I have Sir." "Good, I'll look at it after Sesame Street, who is left on the list? What's the USSR?" "Oh that's just Vlad, he suggested he bring back the old name, a traditional branding opportunity his marketing folk have said." "Clever, I like it so we don't have to insult the USSR." "No Sir, we do not Russia but the USSR that justifies us increasing defence spending." "BUt if the USSR doesn't exist we're insulting no one?" "Exactly Sir." "How are we gonna pay for it all, I mean we don't get enough in tax." "No Sir some people have not paid tax in decades." "It's the American way Sean, I'm not stupid." "No Sir, very clever. I may have a way out." "What?" "Well according to the State Department Briefing Burkina Faso get some US Aid, we can withdraw it." "Great and we have an excuse as they have been spying on us, we can call it unnamed agencies used the place to coordinate spying activity. That won't upset the Angela." "That's Theresa and very good Sir." "What can we spend the money on instead." "A missile." "How many?" "Just one Sir a Hellfire I think. we only gave them a couple of million last year." "Too much, I paid more than that in tax." "No you didn't Sir." "That's because I'm clever." "Yes you are Sir."