"Vlad, how are you? We haven't chatted in ages. Why are you laughing?"
"Ha, Ha, Ha, Oh Don, Don, Don my friend you are so funny."
"Why? What have I done?"
"Your Tweets of course. Your ability to spread disbelief and confusion are second to none. Even Xi is impressed.
Bashar is getting one of his universities to start teaching it. And Erdoğan is especially impressed."
"He wanted me to withdraw."
"So, did I."
"Well I have."
"Yes a huge success for us."
"I'm protecting American lives."
"Of course you are. Anyway about your impeachment."
"This is me Vlad, not some journalist.'
"A word of advice?"
"Cut down the number of people listening to your phone calls."
"They take records."
"We have the tapes."
"I dispute them."
"Good that's the right approach. Now, have you seen the new list."
"Which list? You send so many?"
"The list for National Security Advisor and Secretary of State."
"I haven't sacked them yet."
"Not this month. Anyway keep the Ukraine angle going as long as possible and ignore all those security briefings."
"I am. How are the election plans going."
"You don't need to know but our advertising budget is doing well. We've ben actively supporting some Democrats."
"So you can claim interference once they finally decide which id... which candidate to stand against you."
"But won't that help them."
"Only to get Hilary back in the game, I thought you wanted that?"
"Biden may be bigger issue."
"Don't worry about him, we have some more Son stories to leak."
"Do you have the interview answers for your next UK interview."
"Why another UK one?"
"They are having another election."
"I thought that was Israel, Bennie asked for my support."
"We may have to let Ben go."
"Haven't you seen the news. He may get locked up."
"But I haven't asked for that."
"Has anyone you wanted to be locked up actually been locked up?"
"Has anyone you didn't want locked up been locked up?"
"You really need to get a grip on the legal system there. I thought Ruddi was working on that."
"He's got bogged down in Ukraine."
"I know how he feels."
My phone has an app attached to our national broadcaster, the ABC (or Australian Broadcasting Corporation), which sounded its familiar ABC breaking news music this morning.
As normal, I looked down to see what was happening, to discover that there had been an explosion at a concert in the UK. We now know that over twenty have died, and close to sixty are injured. Another horrific attack because – at this stage – who knows?
As I scroll down my news feed, I can see articles on the Lindt Cafe siege in Sydney, troubles in the Middle East, warnings about North Korea, and more articles on the ongoing issues in Syria.
It’s a sobering list, full of the atrocities humans perpetrate on each other. Sometimes I just have to ask myself ‘Why?’ I mean, really, ‘Why?’ Why is it that we can’t see the good in each other? Why can’t…
"Don! How are you? Sacked any more Directors yet?"
"Give me time."
"I've told you time is of the essence don't give them time to think,
"I know, I know... Is that why you sent me the guide?"
"Yes I've updated from last year Kim Sung made some amendments."
"I admire him for one so young."
"He had good training, like Assad, you really should meet up."
"I can't with Assad I just bombed his base."
"I know still nothing damaged and you did warn us first so
I could tell him."
"Shhhh the FBI may be listening?"
"So what you have dealt with them now."
"No, not quite the temporary one is being nasty about me in congress
implying I was wrong."
"Then fire him too, or really terminate - its what the rest of us do."
"That reminds me, on page two of the guide it says
I should assassinate some journalists after I have removed the heads
"Yes you need to adapt for your own terminology but get rid
of a few journo's and the rest come into line."
"I noticed and Erdogan recommended the same."
"He's following the same programme, we'll soon have it all sorted."
"Shame about Marie."
"Yes and after the Dutch fiasco."
"The hack was too late."
"I've had the head of the team shot for the timing."
"If only I had your control."
"Back to the FBI, send them in armed and have accidental
shooting with terrorism connections always works.
Schools, cinemas, underground stations, all works and adds up."
"I know you are right. What's next on the agenda."
"Is she the short fat one?"
"Yes, but don't worry about her we still have the Stasi files."
"What did she do?"
"Nothing you have to worry about Don. Not as bad as the hotel..."
"You said you would not mention those again."
"Ha Ha just winding you up old friend. Xi says Hi by the way."
"I owe him a call need to coordinate message when
Kim does his next test."
"Will it fail?"
"We have not agreed yet. Now South Korea is coming on line
maybe we should postpone."
"No don't do that we need to keep the tension up.
I wish Kim had agreed to that limited strike idea."
"He needs to learn from Assad too.
Got to keep some world opinion on side."
"You are too soft Don, I'll get Ivanka to give you a rub down."
"Anything for you Don you know that but
ease off on Twitter it makes you look silly."
"OK Vlad and thanks for the guide."
<<Comms Transmission SGRINC67564 − 3680-04-19-1402:16.23 burst Key XGDES2056Blowfish#@GEOSURVEYS & XGDES2056Blowfish#@COLSERV Data Load:1.2Tb compressed. Survey inspection methodology: x25-theta. Mission: 28427335f: Report 225: Comment: Mission Complete! Reporting Officer: SupGenCol/GenGeo Rodriguez in Command Survey Ship Theta-Carmalite. In command still. Sector: Tesla 281 Segment X-ray 132 sub-segment one. There aren’t any other sub-segments Mission Objectives: Observe, probably the dullest mission I have ever been on apart from the collision with the asteroid/mini planet/moon whatever it was. Oh, and the rest of the millions of collisions, explosions, random debris, etc. Earth Distance: 326,853LY. A very long way from Earth – never been this far out before. Mission Date: 3680-04-19. Time to head in. Population:Report 226: Comment: None, still none and will still be none in a billion years Physiology:Report 227: Comment: Ditto Secondary Population:Report 228: Comment: None Language:Report 229: Comment: None, but mine is getting worse – again Sun – System Planets:Report 230: Comment: New planetary system forming in this arm as expected with high density of Helium and Hydrogen particles. Explosive elements appear to have been caused by clash of paths of two L type gas giants, hence causing what appeared to be a super nova. Of course that was fifteen Earth years ago based on light speed explosion detection from nearest Bot. Data shows possibility of L type resulting from the mess but the jury is still out. Will require full GeoServ analysis to confirm but we’d need another half billion years before finding out for sure.
Any planets, that might have been in the original system of the star are long gone. Radiation levels are exceptionally high and there is a lot of physical debris preventing closer approach. Probes in place but several have been lost to high velocity impact. Theta-Carmalite received minor damage before withdrawing further out. Okay it was a bit more than minor damage but we’re fixing up nicely.
Situation unstable so please warn my followers or chasers of the dangers and not to get too close.
Ship Status:Report 230: Comment: Damage repaired. Probe stocks at 30% of total. Crew bored, you told me I would be. Recommendations: Time to head in, I need a glass of real wine from CarpaMax. Comms Transmission SGRINC67564 − 3680-04-19-1402:16.23 burst Key XGDES2056Blowfish#@GEOSURVEYS & XGDES2056Blowfish#@COLSERV>> <<Comms Transmission SGRINC67564 − 3680-04-19-1403:38:28 burst Key XGDES2056Blowfish#@GEOSURVEYS & XGDES2056Blowfish#@COLSERV Reporting Officer: DirFus/IntSupDir Constantine Del Quiller. Acknowledged Mission Complete, Proceed CarpaMax, I shall see you there! Comms Transmission SGRINC67564 − 3680-04-19-1403:38:28 burst Key XGDES2056Blowfish#@GEOSURVEYS & XGDES2056Blowfish#@COLSERV>>
After the horrendous attacks in Tunisia, Kuwait and France and not forgetting the attack on the African Union base in Somalia, it would be very easy to retreat into our shells.
DON’T LET THEM WIN
Throughout British history there have been times when opponents seem to want to attack the very fabric of our existence. Yes, we need to be safe, we need to take precautions but we also need to be brave. Today is Armed Forces day in the UK many of our troops will be parading through local towns and villages. The Government and police has asked us to be more vigilant and they have increased security. Do not stay away, make this a demonstration of our determination not to be terrorised. We are better, braver, and stronger than they are. We do not need to drop bombs on them to prove it. Stand and cheer.
DON’T LET THEM WIN
Mourn the dead, care for the physically and mentally wounded. Support our neighbours whether next door or in spirit on another continent
I read this morning of at least one couple who are staying in Tunisia. We should all support that country now and carry on booking holidays. The terrorists want us to withdraw to collapse the government. If we stop going, they will have won. It is the same tactic used in Egypt. Destroying tourism create economic chaos so that they can move in.
As a complete change from writing and commentary, I have been roped into a marathon relay in aid of my work’s featured charity KidsCo in London. Not sure if the legs will make it as it is the best part of twenty years since I last did any proper running. Anyway it’s a great cause and if you want to you can donate here –KidsCo